Dear Friend....

Friends are the most important thing in my life. I know I have a lot of friends but there is many I call a friend just because I don't freaking trust anyone. I have a trust issue. I don't let anyone in my heart. People have taken me for granted and I hate feeling like that, or taken advantage of me and that's the worst feeling to ever have and I just wish I could have a friend I could talk to and hang out and have nice shopping sprees but no one is close to me anymore and its hard moving to a new place and not having anyone close or having someone I could call friend. Girls always need there friends and tell there little secrets and there fun times and life. Friend if you are out there I'm here waiting for you and I'm ready to be your friend. I'm a sucker for friends and i will do anything to have one right now. Not to many people understand miss Fifi. I'm a loner and it sucks to be like that but that's the only way I feel save. Just for the simple fact. I don't think people get where I'm coming from. There is more to the way I'm feeling right now. How my emotions are running high and low. To much to explain....Anybody listing, could someone listen to my prayer. Is there anyone that cares....

Depressed

Been feeling a little down.. Trying to make this life a better day for me... been thinking a lot about Erica... I know she is in a better place but she is my baby sister.. Its hard to deal with this ordeal...As well to know that's its reality and she is not here...Accepting that fact is hard... I wish I could of told her I loved her so much...She knows I always tried my best to see her... But back in the days things we can't take back..Now its just to late...That person knows it and now has to live with that in their hearts... I know its hard to deal with things. I figure if i write this I will feel better.. She is looking down on us. I feel her all the time around me and that freaks me out at times. I know she doesn't mean any harm she is my big angel.

Danity Kane wordz

Picture this: After a thousand words said we still couldn't understand what was in each others heads.
Complete. Content. Sunrise to sunset.
So fly like stars, you were everything I wish for, but yet..
You made time to speak your mind when I wasn't pleasing you,
took my love in vain, I was bleeding.
Lonely nights I held your pillow close, wishin' I was squeezing you.
It's crazy, we can only see the bad times when were together
and remember the good when were apart.
If we throw our love away, does that bring us back to the start?
Time heals all wounds, but I can't rewind my heart.
Is our flame not still there? If seeing you, ignites a spark.
Picture this: After a thousand words said we could never understand what was in each others heads.

Mariah Carey- Side Effect New Joint her new Cd!!

4 my pepople that has gone through some shit like this!!!

Mariah Carey Side Effects
[Young Jeezy:]
It's M.C. and Y.J.
Another hit, okay
We lookin' fine, takin' off
Saw us on a runway
On any given Sunday,
Monday, Tuesday
They try to confuse me,
I never let 'em use me

I was a girl, you was a man
I was too young to understand
I was naive, I just believed
Everything that you told me
Said you were strong, protecting me
Then I found out that you were weak
Keepin' me there, under your thumb
Cause you were scared that I'd become much
More than you could handle,
Shining like a chandelier
That decorated every room inside
The private hell we built,
And I dealt with it
Like a kid I wished I could fly away

But instead, I kept my tears inside
Cause I knew if I started I'd keep crying
For the rest of my life with you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects

Wakin' up scared some nights still dreaming 'bout the violent times
Still little protective 'bout the people that I let inside
Still little defensive thinkin folk be tryna run my life
Still little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects
(Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)

It didn't stop, no one was there
Couldn't be real, had to keep quiet
Once in awhile, put up a fight
It's just too much, night after night
After awhile I would just lie,
You was dead wrong, said you was right
Did what I could, just to survive
Couldn't believe this was my life,
Flickering like a candle
Do my best to handle sleeping with the enemy
Whether he was smothering every last part of me
So I broke away and finally found the strength to leave

Still kept the tears inside
Cause I knew if I started I'd keep crying
For the rest of my life with you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects

Wakin' up scared some nights still dreaming 'bout the violent times
Still little protective 'bout the people that I let inside
Still little defensive thinkin folk be tryna run my life
Still little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects
(Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)

Hey, hey, hey
Let's go!

[Young Jeezy:]
Hey Magnifico or should I say Magnificent?
Ain't nothing worth your happiness
And I ain't caring who you're with
Misery love company so we ain't tryin' to hang with y'all
Hurt you if ya let 'em in
Gotta keep ya sucka smilin'
Keep tryin' to play
I tell him I ain't blowin' tho
Think they want me outta here,
I tell 'em I ain't goin' tho
Side effects be drowsiness,
Loneliness,
How is this?
I think the call it hateration,
What can you prescribe for this?

Forgive but I can't forget,
Every day I deal with this
I live with the side efffects
But I ain't gonna let them get the best of me

Forgive but I can't forget,
Every day I deal with this
I live with the side efffects
But I ain't gonna let them get the best of me

Kept my tears inside
Cause I knew if I started I'd keep crying
For the rest of my life with you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects

Wakin' up scared some nights still dreaming 'bout the violent times
Still little protective 'bout the people that I let inside
Still little defensive thinkin folk be tryna run my life
Still little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects
(Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)

It's been while...

Hey y'all it's been a while I have not written anything I just been very busy doing my things and trying to get my self together again Since we moved out here again to Fl its been great and me and Marco gotten things the correct way... I been a lil depressed because of my sister being gone from the cruel world of ours. I know its hard to cope with things thing, but I guess god above knows why she is gone, She took it to her grave.. She has shown me so much in life. Our souls is all that keeps us running and breathing you know!!! I do really miss my family out there in MA but this is my turning point to learn more things in life and grow as a person!!! Damn this world is so unfair and we have to keeeepp learning from our mistakes. I must say I'm glad where I'm at in this point in my life. I'm praying i get to do my massage things again its hard to get back to studying but I know I'm a very smart young lady and I could conquer anything I want if I put my mind to.

1 month Annv. Why....

Today im feeling a lil depressed becasue today makes a month that she hased passed away and I still cant believe and i cant still express my feeling believe I dont even know where to even to start Well Erica I want to let you know i miss you so much and i know you are watching me from above because i could feel you all the time

This is so Funny Old School!!

ITs muh Bday!!! IM 27

Right now im sitting here and thinking of life and thanking the lord above for blessing me for my life and i want to thank everyone in my family that has been there for me and this is a new day so thank you all for the support and love

Wreck

Feeling like a train wreck
Hearing the news of your life
That you wouldn't ever want to hear
You cant believe it and try to be strong
You feel like your body just froze
Not knowing if these news is true or not
Damn life is so unfair at times
I could ask the other person on the line
That they were lying
But knowing in my heart it's true

Ercia Lace Lamboy 03/28/87- 01/07/08

Wow what a day I woke up on January 7 and received the worst news ever I heard that my youngest sister in the Bronx passed away and right now I cant even write about becasue I'm so heart broken I just don't know where to begin I feel like my heart is completed broken and the messed up is that she was only 20 years old. She is the one on the right side and thats her baby sister. I know she has gone somewhere else but the pain will take a while to heal.

.......

Even though I don't show my feelings to you Its doesn't mean you don't amaze me all the time and I promise I will try to express myself more to you again I don't want to hurt you ever again and I want to show you how much joy I get from just being around you and I feel like I have someone there and helping through the thick and thin I want to be your baby forever and I won't let that go Sharing our feelings is so great and I'm so greatful for you to have notice these great quality in me Even though I've gone through some experiences in my life I want thank the lord up above for bringing you to the path

Mrt J. Blige-Roses

[Intro:]
See today
I'm havin' one of
Them days were
I just don't
Wanna be bothered
But it seems like
You can't understand that
Because it's your way
Or no way
But check this out
It's my way today
And I'm really, really
Sick and tired
Of you steppin' into
My little box
When I just don't wanna be bothered, OK?
So check this out

[Verse 1:]
I've had my way
And I've had my share
Of ups and down
I've been in trouble
And I couldn't tell
My ups from downs
I've been your baby
And I don't know why
It don't seem like
That no more
Welcome to
This new definition
Of love

[Hook:]
It ain't all roses
Hey
Flowers and posin'
Hey
Said it ain't all candy
Hey
This love stuff
Is demanding
Hey

Said it ain't all roses
Hey
Flowers and posin'
Hey
Said it ain't all candy
Hey
This love stuff
Is demanding
Hey
Sometimes I need a hug

[Interlude:]
See, you, you just
You just wanna
Really, really, really push
All my buttons
'Cause you Mr. Right
And I'm Misses Wrong
But right now today
I feel like
I'm-I'm the one
Gon' sing this song

I'm a be Misses Right today
It's my way or the highway
But with you
It's just no... gettin' around that
I gotta be bumpin' heads
With you
What's up with that?
Listen, see

[Verse 2:]
I love my man
And I know my place
I know my worth
And I just can't stand
To see myself
As I hurt
It's been a long time
And I think that
I can get a little
More love
From you
I know some of ya'll
Go through it to 'cause

[Chorus]

[Interlude 2:]
Sometimes I just wish
You just put
Your arms around me
When I'm feelin' so
Sp, so very needy
But instead you just turn your back
And say, "Suck it up! "
Oh, you don't know how I'm feelin' right now
If you knew how I feel
On the inside
You wouldn't say suck it up
Now what the fuck?
Cause'

[Chorus]

[Outro:]
It ain't all roses, you know?
Everybody ask me how
Good it is
It's great
Love is great
But when you just
A mess yourself
It ain't gon' be all roses
'Cause you just want your time
You wanna be selfish
You know
You don't want nobody
Messin' with you
You just wanna rip
Somebody head off
When they step to you with
"Oh you need some help. Oh, you need to figure it out"
You figure it out!
You figure it out!
You go figure it out!
You suck it up!

Four Walls

I see myself in these four walls and a women trying to escape from her misery but damn why do I feel so trapped I should be able to get out whenever I please I want to know how paradise feel why haven't I felt that beautiful feeling and to feel that wind blowing through my cute curly hair wow if I don't find a way to escape from this misery I don't know what I would do I can't hold it in I have to find some way man I should escape and do one of prison break move huh? I know when I reach the other side I know I will become a better women I could taste you.....

Crack heads

Right now is 2:00 am and for some reason I can't sleep I'm here listening to my Zune because these cracks head that live upstairs don't stop fucking fighting high off that shit that is not worth a dime while I'm laying down and I could hear my ceiling dying to break shit my man is sleep next to me and his son is asleep don't these people understand we trying to live just can't wait to live and live a peaceful life