Jutin Nozuka-After tonight

2 mONTHZ sO FAR

I'm 2 monthz so far and everything ok. I get some morning sickness but then it comes down. I can't wait to see my belly grow and feel my baby grow. Im due in April 11, 2009. From what the doctors say's it could change you never know when the baby wants to come out.

Aug 7 ,2008

I found out that Im pregnant and I'm so happy and scared at the same time Im 5 weeks so far and cant wait to see how my baby is going to look everyone is happy and cant wait ill kep you posted on my pregnancy!! Fifi is going to be a mom for the first time

This is In Ponce, PR

This is my city!!! Where I was born at!!

Fashion Girl

Mizz Muh Block

When I used to go to school for Fashion!!!!

Purple Kizz

Pretty Drawing

Digga- Broken

great song and beat don't ya'll think...

Raining...

Today is one of those days where is raining outside like hell and there is nothing i could do about it because its called "Mother Nature". Wish I were home sleeping and seeing some TV. Which I love to do. It has been raining for weeks now and when is this freaking rain ever going to stop. I think its because a hurricane is near. I just hope it doesn't hit us.

hot Hot Hot

Theze are fire 2!!!

Im such a Hell Kitty Fan..

I need to find another pic because the pic is gone from photobucket thats not right man!!!

Hello Im an M.A.C Addict

This is what you call Photography

I think this picture is awesome..Just the way it looks and how bright soul he is.... love you love you nephew.

Janelle Monae-Violet Stars Happy Hunting

Janell Monae-Sincerely Jane

Love her sound and voice...

The Sharks at sea world...

crazy huh...

Niice...

Jahrell sitting int he jacuzzi look at the water the way it looks

Funny Face

i don't know what I made this face but I had to do it.

Messin Around At home

This is what we do all day...Not j/k

we look good though...

Massage

This is were I want to be right now, even though I'm a massage therapist I can't massage myself So soon its a day at spa for me....

Fifi in the sand

Here is the one and only..
that's right I had to make my name duh... Cute huh??

I Heart You

I love you all that love me but first most is very important to love your self first before you love others... that is the question?


I made this... at the beach...

Mi Feet

I was bored at the beach this day and took a pix of my feet..
I think they are cute freak ya'll if you dont think so..hahahaha

Sketch

I was messin around photobucket with one of my many pics and i made things tell me what you think...

Listen

Family man...... That is very important.. To me anyways how about you...

Great Mines Think alike

Here is me and megan doing out thang again....

Movie Star

I felt Like a Movie Star even though it was my uncle's bday party...oopppssss Love ya tio..

We look great anyways!!

Me and megan...

Love yay lil sister Miss you too..

Jahrell was so happy that

He got to go to Sea World for his 6th bday!! Awesome right.. check him out..

The Killer Whale Shot

Marco took a great picture here i think the way it looks..

I made this a couple

Of months ago for my lil sister that is in heaven now with her angels looking down on me

R.I.P
Erica L. Lamboy
3.28.87/01.7.08

Marco shoots one in the air

Check this out....

He was happy Jyke

He loved those fireworks

Aww Cute couple

My Two Sister-in-Laws

My 4th of July video

Blowing them up in the street

H20 Phlo- A little Closer

Mario-Music of Love

Drake- Brand New

El Big Boss- Pose

Timberland Hot beat

Estelle feat Kanye West-American Boi

Inner feelingz

Baby don't play with my emotions because loving you means the world to me and I would love for you to know how much I love You I hope you understand me I'm very shy to show my inner feelings but I'm here to let you know how I feel about you. You will always ask me why I love you and here I'm pouring my heart to you: baby what you do to me no one has done before and that's being a true man of your word. That's a reason why i love you and been through thick and thin. I know at times we fight and but that happens in every relationship we are not perfect. I have been in places that i have never been at and you showed me that as well. That's another reason why i love you. I feel like your my soul mate and you just don't see it. Your my so call perfect mate. In so many ways we have so much in common and that's very rare to find.

Matter

I feel at times that no matter what I say and do it's not good enough and why? I really do care for you. You mean the world to me don't you know that already. I would do anything to make you feel happy. I know sometimes i come out as to blunt. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings at all. Just doing the same thing you do which is called being real. I wish I could take away the pain that you go through every single day of your life. I wish I had the power to take away that pain and throw it on the ground and stomp the hell with it away. Never have to deal with it and seeing you in that grief. Baby understand I would move mountains for you!!! Love--- FiFi

Old skool/New skool

Old skool thangs and new skool thangs running down the block because its freaking hot out here loving the summer block party's, jumping double dutch, handball,hiding ghost seek, things that I love to do back in the days which I were there again so much drama in the new skool I want to go back please, looking cute with my ponytails and my pink shorts and a cute shirt and my cute shoes killing them and not knowing exactly what it meant back then I miss being a kid and not have to worry about adult shit but that's life we have to grow up someday remembering when I used to go to the store to get me some candy and yelling in the streets and playing around it was great in the old skool hoping on the trains bugging out with friends those we the days but always made sure I looked fresh to death...

Spirit

Spirit that flows through my soul and mind wishing I wouldn't never have to leave your side I don't care because I know that your spirit is around me and makes me feel like a well rounded human-being what you mean to me I could never explain these soul thoughts I know you used to tell me that one day you were going to make a huge difference now your spirit lives on with me forever knowing the fact that you were my baby sister I'm so proud of you because you did everything you wanted to and no one could take that away from you I miss you but we are sisters that come out with our souls I know you were a great writing as well I can't believe we had so much in common your my spirit of the lord!!!

Sensual

Your voice is so sensual. That just by your warm breathe makes me get goose bumps all over my body. I try to resit myself but I can't. It feel to good. Kiss me baby in all the place your woman wants to get kiss. When you pass your fingertips down my arm and legs I just want to climb on you. I just let time take its place and toll over me. I want to feel you till the sun comes. No matter what, we will have that burning desire in our eyes. Every time they lock. Looking into your eyes I feel this crazy passion inside burning and wanting to come out. I have to calm down. Just for the simple fact. That I'm about to climax!!

Meg.....

Meg Sometimes I feel so alone just because it kills me inside to know I found you and I can't be near you and that's the worst feeling ever and I know you feel the same way and I will never call you a half sister we are blood and no one could take that away from us/I know we have two side to the story/but I know what I did when I was growing up it was the same/I blocked everything out and not thought about it as much as I could/ try to keep my mind active/I'm glad I'm older now and i understand so much about life and still learning you never stop/I'm so glad we have so much in common/ that's great because Erica was a writer/ I don't know if you knew she had a lot of notebooks filled/ I have the same/ its crazy but i love writing my thoughts or just whatever topic comes up i could hear something in TV and make a poem out of it/ so Meg i can't stop missing YOU wish we were hanging out and SHOPPING!!!!!

Natasha bedingfield- not giving up

This is for Marco....

You

My mind is so compress from just thinking of you my day gets brighten each day that I never stop thinking of you because I think you mean the world to me and never forget that

That Kiss

When I think of you and feel those soft lips touch mines my heart skips a beat and I get all nervous just thinking of it you make me sweat like to teenagers in love I love feeling like kids its so amazing how much you know you pour your heart out and so do I at times we don't show it all because we don't want to get hurt thanks for being that passionate lover like me I would do anything to have that kiss

Music=Life

I remember this friend
He was cool and collective
And when we spoke on the phone
We started talking about music
I sang a little bit but nothing special
My idol is Alicia Keys
You got to love her
Her music touches your soul
And you know you have gone through some rough times
But anyways this friend has always been there
Anything that would happen and a great listener
We both have a great passion for music
Life as well falls into that because if life wouldn't be here
Then music either
Wow is amazing how music and life equals
great things....
This person I'm talking about is no other then Mr. Paris
Thanks for being there all these years!
I'm glad i met you!

Passion

Our body's so soft like silk are body's unwind to the passion of love. What we have is out of this world any no one could take that away from us. Passion is so strong and we could move mountain. Those kisses make me fly up in the sky. Your warmth makes me so comfortable to an extend that I love. Not just any touch would do but just you. When passion is in the air I want to be part of that because I would do anything to have that passion tonight.

Loving

Loving my life
Loving every min with you
Loving the way you move
Loving your smile
Loving your kisses
Loving the way you touch me
Loving when you whisper in my ear
Loving you in my destiny
I'm glad I'm loving you every bit

Puzzle

Life is just a puzzle we have to figure out so many ways to over come and become something we not and just try to be the best but for some reason it just never turns outs that way we have to fight for what is ours this life is just to short to hold on trash we have to just keep n moving because we could only breath till god till us too and he is so powerful and could be the only man that could judge us that's why I say life is a puzzle and we are on this earth to proclaim to do what we came to do and that is live to your fullest...

Feeling blue

Feeling blue and all I used think about the way we used to move at times things never happen the way we want it to go just sit here and dream of what could but I look at the bright side to realize how much I miss your touch we had a blast at times but looking back now I glad your not mines feeling blue without a trace knowing deep down inside I cry and know that shit wouldn't work for the life of god don't know why I'm feeling so blue inside I know deep down inside I wish things were different being blue inside doesn't feel nice you just feel like shit inside thinking ....and thinking why does this shit happen to me

Mirror

Once you look at yourself in the mirror and realize what your doing to yourself you'll love yourself before you could love other I know its hard to look at you reflections because we don't want to face the tru but that's the only way you could fix things lil by lil the mirror is your only escape to reality mirror please tell me what to do next

Will do my best

At times we are face with optical in life people think your nasty but that's a shield I use for the simple fact I really don't know who to trust I know I should open up more but I have had my feelings broken I know I shouldn't be this way and I don't mean too either but I do come across as cold hearted and I'm not trying to be I will try my best t be better with world....

Confident

I don't feel confident being me in my own skin. I try to be the best I could be in this world. I hide behind the words and the reality of who I am. I know what you did to me was the worst thing you could ever do to a human being. You wouldn't even look in my eyes and tell me the true. Why is it so hard for you to tell me your true feelings. I guess you haven't found the inner voice. You don't have the coverage to be that person. Why did I have to go through all that pain. I did hold on for so long I feel confident now to tell you what you did was wrong. Now a days I could truly says my feelings and tell people how I feel even I hurt that person. To me that's called being frank. I know I shouldn't hurt anyone. I'm not trying to be so blunt. I guess you made me this way. I was so innocent back then. You took that for granted. Why did you. You messed my whole life. I been through some rough times and I try to overcome all my fears. I hide all the time and I hold a shield against this place we call earth.

Dear Friend....

Friends are the most important thing in my life. I know I have a lot of friends but there is many I call a friend just because I don't freaking trust anyone. I have a trust issue. I don't let anyone in my heart. People have taken me for granted and I hate feeling like that, or taken advantage of me and that's the worst feeling to ever have and I just wish I could have a friend I could talk to and hang out and have nice shopping sprees but no one is close to me anymore and its hard moving to a new place and not having anyone close or having someone I could call friend. Girls always need there friends and tell there little secrets and there fun times and life. Friend if you are out there I'm here waiting for you and I'm ready to be your friend. I'm a sucker for friends and i will do anything to have one right now. Not to many people understand miss Fifi. I'm a loner and it sucks to be like that but that's the only way I feel save. Just for the simple fact. I don't think people get where I'm coming from. There is more to the way I'm feeling right now. How my emotions are running high and low. To much to explain....Anybody listing, could someone listen to my prayer. Is there anyone that cares....

Depressed

Been feeling a little down.. Trying to make this life a better day for me... been thinking a lot about Erica... I know she is in a better place but she is my baby sister.. Its hard to deal with this ordeal...As well to know that's its reality and she is not here...Accepting that fact is hard... I wish I could of told her I loved her so much...She knows I always tried my best to see her... But back in the days things we can't take back..Now its just to late...That person knows it and now has to live with that in their hearts... I know its hard to deal with things. I figure if i write this I will feel better.. She is looking down on us. I feel her all the time around me and that freaks me out at times. I know she doesn't mean any harm she is my big angel.

Danity Kane wordz

Picture this: After a thousand words said we still couldn't understand what was in each others heads.
Complete. Content. Sunrise to sunset.
So fly like stars, you were everything I wish for, but yet..
You made time to speak your mind when I wasn't pleasing you,
took my love in vain, I was bleeding.
Lonely nights I held your pillow close, wishin' I was squeezing you.
It's crazy, we can only see the bad times when were together
and remember the good when were apart.
If we throw our love away, does that bring us back to the start?
Time heals all wounds, but I can't rewind my heart.
Is our flame not still there? If seeing you, ignites a spark.
Picture this: After a thousand words said we could never understand what was in each others heads.

Mariah Carey- Side Effect New Joint her new Cd!!

4 my pepople that has gone through some shit like this!!!

Mariah Carey Side Effects
[Young Jeezy:]
It's M.C. and Y.J.
Another hit, okay
We lookin' fine, takin' off
Saw us on a runway
On any given Sunday,
Monday, Tuesday
They try to confuse me,
I never let 'em use me

I was a girl, you was a man
I was too young to understand
I was naive, I just believed
Everything that you told me
Said you were strong, protecting me
Then I found out that you were weak
Keepin' me there, under your thumb
Cause you were scared that I'd become much
More than you could handle,
Shining like a chandelier
That decorated every room inside
The private hell we built,
And I dealt with it
Like a kid I wished I could fly away

But instead, I kept my tears inside
Cause I knew if I started I'd keep crying
For the rest of my life with you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects

Wakin' up scared some nights still dreaming 'bout the violent times
Still little protective 'bout the people that I let inside
Still little defensive thinkin folk be tryna run my life
Still little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects
(Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)

It didn't stop, no one was there
Couldn't be real, had to keep quiet
Once in awhile, put up a fight
It's just too much, night after night
After awhile I would just lie,
You was dead wrong, said you was right
Did what I could, just to survive
Couldn't believe this was my life,
Flickering like a candle
Do my best to handle sleeping with the enemy
Whether he was smothering every last part of me
So I broke away and finally found the strength to leave

Still kept the tears inside
Cause I knew if I started I'd keep crying
For the rest of my life with you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects

Wakin' up scared some nights still dreaming 'bout the violent times
Still little protective 'bout the people that I let inside
Still little defensive thinkin folk be tryna run my life
Still little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects
(Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)

Hey, hey, hey
Let's go!

[Young Jeezy:]
Hey Magnifico or should I say Magnificent?
Ain't nothing worth your happiness
And I ain't caring who you're with
Misery love company so we ain't tryin' to hang with y'all
Hurt you if ya let 'em in
Gotta keep ya sucka smilin'
Keep tryin' to play
I tell him I ain't blowin' tho
Think they want me outta here,
I tell 'em I ain't goin' tho
Side effects be drowsiness,
Loneliness,
How is this?
I think the call it hateration,
What can you prescribe for this?

Forgive but I can't forget,
Every day I deal with this
I live with the side efffects
But I ain't gonna let them get the best of me

Forgive but I can't forget,
Every day I deal with this
I live with the side efffects
But I ain't gonna let them get the best of me

Kept my tears inside
Cause I knew if I started I'd keep crying
For the rest of my life with you
I finally built up the strength to walk away
Don't regret it but I still live with the side effects

Wakin' up scared some nights still dreaming 'bout the violent times
Still little protective 'bout the people that I let inside
Still little defensive thinkin folk be tryna run my life
Still little depressed inside, I fake a smile and deal with the side effects
(Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)
Side effects (Oh, oh)

It's been while...

Hey y'all it's been a while I have not written anything I just been very busy doing my things and trying to get my self together again Since we moved out here again to Fl its been great and me and Marco gotten things the correct way... I been a lil depressed because of my sister being gone from the cruel world of ours. I know its hard to cope with things thing, but I guess god above knows why she is gone, She took it to her grave.. She has shown me so much in life. Our souls is all that keeps us running and breathing you know!!! I do really miss my family out there in MA but this is my turning point to learn more things in life and grow as a person!!! Damn this world is so unfair and we have to keeeepp learning from our mistakes. I must say I'm glad where I'm at in this point in my life. I'm praying i get to do my massage things again its hard to get back to studying but I know I'm a very smart young lady and I could conquer anything I want if I put my mind to.

1 month Annv. Why....

Today im feeling a lil depressed becasue today makes a month that she hased passed away and I still cant believe and i cant still express my feeling believe I dont even know where to even to start Well Erica I want to let you know i miss you so much and i know you are watching me from above because i could feel you all the time

This is so Funny Old School!!

ITs muh Bday!!! IM 27

Right now im sitting here and thinking of life and thanking the lord above for blessing me for my life and i want to thank everyone in my family that has been there for me and this is a new day so thank you all for the support and love

Wreck

Feeling like a train wreck
Hearing the news of your life
That you wouldn't ever want to hear
You cant believe it and try to be strong
You feel like your body just froze
Not knowing if these news is true or not
Damn life is so unfair at times
I could ask the other person on the line
That they were lying
But knowing in my heart it's true

Ercia Lace Lamboy 03/28/87- 01/07/08

Wow what a day I woke up on January 7 and received the worst news ever I heard that my youngest sister in the Bronx passed away and right now I cant even write about becasue I'm so heart broken I just don't know where to begin I feel like my heart is completed broken and the messed up is that she was only 20 years old. She is the one on the right side and thats her baby sister. I know she has gone somewhere else but the pain will take a while to heal.

.......

Even though I don't show my feelings to you Its doesn't mean you don't amaze me all the time and I promise I will try to express myself more to you again I don't want to hurt you ever again and I want to show you how much joy I get from just being around you and I feel like I have someone there and helping through the thick and thin I want to be your baby forever and I won't let that go Sharing our feelings is so great and I'm so greatful for you to have notice these great quality in me Even though I've gone through some experiences in my life I want thank the lord up above for bringing you to the path

Mrt J. Blige-Roses

[Intro:]
See today
I'm havin' one of
Them days were
I just don't
Wanna be bothered
But it seems like
You can't understand that
Because it's your way
Or no way
But check this out
It's my way today
And I'm really, really
Sick and tired
Of you steppin' into
My little box
When I just don't wanna be bothered, OK?
So check this out

[Verse 1:]
I've had my way
And I've had my share
Of ups and down
I've been in trouble
And I couldn't tell
My ups from downs
I've been your baby
And I don't know why
It don't seem like
That no more
Welcome to
This new definition
Of love

[Hook:]
It ain't all roses
Hey
Flowers and posin'
Hey
Said it ain't all candy
Hey
This love stuff
Is demanding
Hey

Said it ain't all roses
Hey
Flowers and posin'
Hey
Said it ain't all candy
Hey
This love stuff
Is demanding
Hey
Sometimes I need a hug

[Interlude:]
See, you, you just
You just wanna
Really, really, really push
All my buttons
'Cause you Mr. Right
And I'm Misses Wrong
But right now today
I feel like
I'm-I'm the one
Gon' sing this song

I'm a be Misses Right today
It's my way or the highway
But with you
It's just no... gettin' around that
I gotta be bumpin' heads
With you
What's up with that?
Listen, see

[Verse 2:]
I love my man
And I know my place
I know my worth
And I just can't stand
To see myself
As I hurt
It's been a long time
And I think that
I can get a little
More love
From you
I know some of ya'll
Go through it to 'cause

[Chorus]

[Interlude 2:]
Sometimes I just wish
You just put
Your arms around me
When I'm feelin' so
Sp, so very needy
But instead you just turn your back
And say, "Suck it up! "
Oh, you don't know how I'm feelin' right now
If you knew how I feel
On the inside
You wouldn't say suck it up
Now what the fuck?
Cause'

[Chorus]

[Outro:]
It ain't all roses, you know?
Everybody ask me how
Good it is
It's great
Love is great
But when you just
A mess yourself
It ain't gon' be all roses
'Cause you just want your time
You wanna be selfish
You know
You don't want nobody
Messin' with you
You just wanna rip
Somebody head off
When they step to you with
"Oh you need some help. Oh, you need to figure it out"
You figure it out!
You figure it out!
You go figure it out!
You suck it up!

Four Walls

I see myself in these four walls and a women trying to escape from her misery but damn why do I feel so trapped I should be able to get out whenever I please I want to know how paradise feel why haven't I felt that beautiful feeling and to feel that wind blowing through my cute curly hair wow if I don't find a way to escape from this misery I don't know what I would do I can't hold it in I have to find some way man I should escape and do one of prison break move huh? I know when I reach the other side I know I will become a better women I could taste you.....

Crack heads

Right now is 2:00 am and for some reason I can't sleep I'm here listening to my Zune because these cracks head that live upstairs don't stop fucking fighting high off that shit that is not worth a dime while I'm laying down and I could hear my ceiling dying to break shit my man is sleep next to me and his son is asleep don't these people understand we trying to live just can't wait to live and live a peaceful life

First Dance

This is Jahrell first time dancing with a girl and her name is Brianna

Piano

Better then That

I know we fight a lot but that doesn't mean that our love isn't strong at all as a women i know what I want and i cant see myself with out you Your mines and I'm yours and you make me feel like a women should I want to return the favor as well Baby we all go through ups and downs did you know I love you so dearly and I have never felt this great love before and I'm glad I meet you Sometimes when we speak and lash out at each other and I really don't understand but I know we both still have more to learn about each other Living this world now a days it's hard and so much shit out there and this fighting has to stop we are not getting anywhere I don't want to hurt you or you hurt me What's up with all that We are better then that

I love you

I LOVE YOU

I LOVE THE WAY YOU ARE

I LOVE THE WAY YOU KISS

I LOVE THE WAY U MAKE LOVE

I LOVE THE WAY YOU UNDERSTAND

I LOVE THE WAY YOU SMILE

I LOVE THE WAY YOU EXPRESS YOURSELF

HEY I GUESS I LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU DO EVERYTHING

MWWWAAA MARCO

By: FiFi

06/09/06

Pain in the ass

SOME TIMES I KNOW YOU A PAIN IN THE ASS BUT I GUESS THATS WHY I LOVE YOUR ASS HEHEHE I KNOW WE HAVE GONE THROUGH SOME ROUGH SHIT BUT I GUESS THATS THE WAY SHIT GOES BUT I KNOW I LOVE YOU TILL THE END OF TIME BUT IF SOMETHING WOULD EVER HAPPEN I GUESS THATS THE WAY SHIT FLOW BUT FOR RIGHT NOW THIS LOVE IS STILL BURNING INSIDE AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU AND IM GLAD IM WITH AN ASS LIKE YOU THAT KNOW HOW TO PUT ME ON MY FEET AS WELL I COULD DO THE SAME

WRITIEN BY FIFI

06/09/06

Hmmmmmmm

i just sit here and think of all the bullshit we as human have to go through and shit but i guess thats why we were made to go through this i bet if i were a freaky bird i could just fly away any where i please and and not have to worry as much about the shit that goes on this stinky world of ours im here just writing anything that comes out of my mind and shit

i guess not today will i see the light i always desire to come thought my window pain....

just think sometimes if u were an animal what kind would you be?

I know i would be a bird, or a butterfly with pretty colors

Fifi thinking..........................

Sometimes I have to write

Well I'm back and I'm feeling better and I'm glad I'm back becasue i hate being sick!! Soon I'm go to Florida next month I'm going to pick up my step son i cant wait me and my man cant wait to have our family together for once now and I'm excited. So I've been tired work has gotten freaking crazy and Marco and i have been dead. Working hard for that money people. Then my sister Ellie got sick and was in the hospital and she was doing bad couldn't breath and shit. I'm happy she is doing better. She is able to speak a lil more. For my girls you know who you are i had fun the other night till some asshole fought in the dance floor always some dumb ass as to mess it up for the ones dancing, it was freaking pack i felt like a darn sardine man! Do you agree ladies. Well its was a chill nite i guess. I saw a lot of old faces from High School that was cool......Hi Guys again just in case you read this shhhhh...............Well I'm done becasue ill end up writing a freaking book!!!

Thoughts Running

Whats up y'all I'm here thinking of writing something deep like always sometime it means something/ sometimes you have to be a writer to understand my twisted writing ...................

As i set here and think of the beauty of life/Passing my cells running through my body/ I wonder how could a human-being be so cruel/ I walk through a dark room where there is nothing but black smoke coming towards me/ I don't know what to think/Is this my life telling me something to do/Or making this go to an end/I try to bring this life to happiness but i guess my other half doesn't want to/Bring this special thing we call life/I need you to meet me half way becasue/Life is too short/To let it all go to waste/"Why" must we has human go through this pain/Knowing deep down inside we don't want this kind of sorrow coming to our life/Ask yourself sometimes......Hmmmmm Damn living this so called life sometimes its not worth it at all/Because i came to this earth with more power to become the best person i could be....You Feel Me

Written By: Fifi

How Im feeling right now

Well i wanted to say lately life has been a lil hard but i know someday it will get better sometimes you have to look at the bright side and just hope everything will get better so i try to be strong for my family and friends as much as i can I been going through some test these past year and i know i have overcome some and some i haven't but i have come to realize life is to short to sit here and wait for anything to happen we have to go out there and get it you know Now im older and wiser and want the best for anyone at times im very tired to do anything but i guess all i did and done while i was growing up catched up to me and i try to be a positive person now Even though i havent change a bit for the people that known me for years thats the way ill always be because i will never change for anyone and I love myself period.... Well im writing on my lil journal here heheh i guess see yea.....................Love

Sometimes we dont understand our own power

Its hard to try not to take anger on our loves one, but its hard many times. But i try to understand that person becasue we dont know what they are thinking at the time. They blank out and thats the only way they could expressed themselves because thats the only thing they ever saw. Wish is sad to be like that. I know because i used to be like that person that always got the heat for everything, But i have learned to put it all in the past and move on and get over it, One day our love ones are going to leave this world we call home and they wont be coming back. So we have to try now that we are young and not loose any time. Try to be the best we could be, and get over it. So what im trying to say we have to becareful of out action and try to think twice before doing something stupid!!!

April 07, 2007

Marco Popped the Question could you believe it!!! Its been a week and two days. I wanted to post it but I've been so tired I never have freaking time but yes.. He got me good man!!!

Miss Jahrell

Sometimes you get so attched to someone. It's hurts like hell to let go. Even though that person has no realaion to you. You grow to love that person with all your heart. I know your gone for the summer, I hope you come back because me and daddy miss you so much. I'm sorry you have to go through this, just because you don't know what's really going on? One day you will grow up to become a man and will know whats really going. Well baby i know your a big boy see you soon ok. I so happy you starting school. Love you!!!! Jahrell

Respect

Respect is a big WORD for us now a days. Some people don't learn how to respect those we love in our life just for the simple fact we never know when we are going to need that love one or that friend in your life. Life is to short to hold grudges which makes us black inside. That is something we need to stop doing. It ruin peoples life and others as well. Just becasue your scared about something or don't feel like talking to the whole world that doesn't mean you have to stop respecting that person all together what do you think you came into this world alone. All the mothers in this world ask there kids that all they want is that respect that they deserve which i don't think its not a hard thing but for other is hard. It's hard to respect anyone. Just because i don't know that person in the street that doesn't give you the right not to. So always think of those human beings like if you wouldn't know them and think of your mother.

P.S.

Loving and Respecting

your mother is something beautiful

Mommy

I FIRST WANT TO EXPLAIN TO YOU GUYS SOMETHING THIS PERSON I'M GOING TO SPEAK OF IS A VERY SPECIAL PERSON IN MY LIFE AND I'M WRITING THIS TO LET THIS PERSON KNOW HOW MUCH THEY ARE DEAR TO ME WELL THIS PERSON MADE ME WHO I'M TODAY AND THIS KIND OF WORLD WE ARE LIVING BUT THIS PERSON DID A GREAT JOB SHOWING US FROM OUR RIGHT AND WRONGS WHICH IS A BLESSING AND I WANT TO THANK LORD FOR THAT I KNOW ITS HARD TO SPEAK TO THIS PERSON BUT WHEN YOU HAVE THAT GREAT DEAL OF RESPECT YOU RATHER JUST TALK WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT ITS NOR ME BEING SCARED ITS JUST THE WAY I FEEL RATHER THEN SPEAKING ABOUT THAT BACK TO WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE THIS PERSON AND WITH OUT THIS PERSON I DON'T THINK I COULD BREATHE THIS AIR I BREATHE THIS PERSON A FRIEND YOU COULD TURN TO AND I WANT YOU GUYS TO UNDERSTAND THIS AS WELL THIS PERSON HAS HELPED ME WITH A LOT OF THINGS I COULDN'T CONQUER BUT I DID BECAUSE OF THAT PERSON DRIVE I BET YOU GUYS ARE WONDERING WHO AM I TALKING ABOUT

TAKE A GUESS.....

THAT PERSON IS FANNY WILSON

P.S.

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU MOMMY!

Writing

I try to write the most inner feelings I'm feeling at that moment Its hard to write something tru just becasue you fear you don't know if anyone would understand what message you giving to that reader the moment they start to read what you are writing about I just want to spill my heart on this blog here to let people know writing your feelings, fear etc.....there shouldn't be no fear to writing what you think people should know thats the beauty to writing you could write anything you like i love writing just becasue i could express myself i way i can't express with a person which is funny i thought talking to someone in there face would be easy but for me i enjoying writing about anything im going through at any giving sec coming from your heart is something special and no one could take that away from you just remember that I have a lot of writing that i wrote in the past and that to me is crazy becasue as you write that long you start thinking about this time like if you were in a movie all over and just feeling like back i were a child again and this always change over the years is amazing Wow huh thats what writing is special to me and music is another thing so huge i cant even explain it...................

Slow Down

At times I feel like I don't take myself at a slow pace. Ill be moving soon back to FL and I just hope everything goes well. Hoping and praying I get to open my business of massage out there. Times been ruff as hell just trying to be a good person,good step mom, good wifey. You know already. I have a lot of thoughts running through my head at this point I don't know what else to stick in my head. My stress level is fucking high I know that. My energy is being suck out of me. I just need to take it easyz. For some reason I don't know how to slow down I'm always running around.... Oh shit I just realize I'm spilling my beans on this blog...I just venting conyo man you see how I'm all over the place....*sigh*

Can't

Sometimes you don't realize what you have done to that person you really love
You can't do this anymore
I feel like I can't do this anymore as well
You have cause damage to this relationship
I ask myself WHY...you need to come to your senses man
I can't live like this..
You broke my heart and throw it all away
I can't lose that man
But at the same time knowing your a jerk
Letting myself hurt for no reason
You know you wish you could have your cake and eat it too
This is 2007 man get real with your self
Life is to short...
I can't do this anymore!!!

Mi Nena

When I look into your sweet lil eyes
That couldn't harm anything that crossed her path
She is so innocent and cleared minded
She is so friendly and lovable
Wow I can't believe she is gone to GA
It feels like she has been gone forever
I remember the day she was born on March 25
She was so pretty and tiny
Just looking at her I was so proud to an anutie
Her lil eyes were shut
Her hands so soft
I know Mi Nena was going to loved by others
She cryed a lot when she was a baby
But it was cute hearing her sweet lil crys
Looking at mi nena sometimes remind me of me jejeje
There is much more I could say about Mi Nena but nothing could explain how much i miss my NeNa

Love you
Mi NeNa

Suga Rush

Suga rush it tastes so good
Suga rush I'm jumping up and down
Suga rush damn its so yummy
Suga rush its bad for your teeth
Suga rush makes me high
Suga rush oh babi I wish you were mines

Fifi

Strong

Sometimes we have to be strong for others but in reality we have to strong for ourself as a humanbeing I try to become someone brave and strong but when someone trys to come between your pride Its something I have to think before something happens I try to be clam but I guess that's the way I'm all the time I just know I won't change

My Fone

My fone your so great I don't know what I would without you I know you have been off for a while I promise you I'm going to use you like it was my last day when I use you fone you fit right on my hands so perfect

Express

I love to express myself and let the world know I could combat with words to a level that no one could express themselves like I do its always great to let those inner thoughts come out your mouth because being real is something that is special to me I know I could be to blunt with my words I battle this world with anything that comes towards me and around me I know I'm not the one to have drama in my life and I don't get off on that but I will make sure my name does not comes out of your mouth....


Fifi

My Friend

I know its hard my friend to be lonely and not have that special someone by your side I know you must be thinking damn I'm not getting any younger so I pray at nite that god puts that special someone in my path I know I would give that person the world only if I could find you where are you??? With patience and love I know I will find you someday.... At times I know I have made the wrong chooses but I know that pretty women will be walking down the streets..

Young Women

I'm a young women wanting more in life I won't settle for less I have so many dreams and wanting more and more I sit and think of this pretty fantasy I have been dreaming of I have been waiting to speak to someone of high of importance which I wish I could I bring the power of my mind which is so rapid that I can't even believe I have so many messages for those in need helping is the main key to our hearts

Emotions

Emotions that run down my veins will come and take it all away emotions are something I can't help Emotions are part of life Emotions make me have highs and lows we have to have those emotions or else we don't feel the way we are supposed to think about emotions are a great deal to our daily life

Control

Something about having control is something some people around the world don't have control of there actions I wish people would see themsleves as they act maybe they would realize how stupid they look control could mean a lot of things which I'm trying to explain to you but control means having yourself under control if you can't control yourself then that means you need help to have that control under control wow control is coming out a lot out of my mouth does that mean I need control as well maybe maybe not that's something I might see someday or not

Bird

As I sit here and think of you I wonder if your thinking of me as well we might come arcoss as not noticing eachother maybe we will in another life time at this point in life we you just have to learn how to let go of that bird if it was meant to be then that bird will come back to you maybe I will find out someday......